Unique Randomness

My random thoughts…brought to you once a week!

• Why are 9 out of 10 deli-counter workers complete morons? On top of that, they’re insanely slow and always pissed off. Is the deli like the wasteland for grocery store employees? I wouldn’t trust most of those people with a mop, much less handling finely cured meats alongside a slicer.

• Keeping with grocery stores…try this little experiment the next time you’re about to check-out. Spot two lines…go to the line that looks like it will take longer. I bet you’ll be finished before the other one. Try it.

• We rented Hot Tub Time Machine. Ummm, I spent a $1.08 for it and still felt like I got robbed. I love comedies. I love stupid, silly comedies. Hot Tub got the stupid part down, but without the laughter. John Cusak should be ashamed. Best Cusak film: Better Off Dead. Most Underrated Cusak Film: The Sure Thing. Worst Cusak film: Con-Air.

• Foods Getting Smaller Alert: Reese’s Cups now have the circumference of a quarter. This is not a good thing. My little one likes Nutri Grain Bars ( I can’t stand them). My goodness they’ve shrunk through the years.

• Facebook Folly of the Week: The Weight Watcher I don’t care that you’re on a diet. No one does. I sure as heck don’t need a daily synopsis of your rabbit food. Does this look familiar? “Hey everyone, today I had an English muffin for breakfast, a Lite Hot Pocket for lunch, and for dinner I drank six glasses of water.” Great…let me know how that diarrhea is treating you.
  

• Gym Membership: Slippery When Wet Hate to get all gender specific on this one, but Slippery When Wet is always a dude. SWW does thirty minutes on the treadmill and then hits the weight machines. One small problem…dipsh*t doesn’t bring a towel with him. As much as all these other gym people annoy me, SWW is the worst. I want to punch SWW. Me and my germaphobe ways don’t like SWW. Please stop marking your territory with sweat secretion.